English to Chinese Other Poetry & Literature Narration

Waiting to finally afford a store-bought computer, I installed, and one by one scrapped, a series of substitutes with disparate parts and software that I would pick up here and there; each of these homemade machines left me with a mental legacy of various operating systems, editors, and database programs. But they allowed me to cut the umbilical cord to the mainframe, albeit at the cost of a roomful of whirring electronic machinery and blinking lights.

我一面等着哪天有能力从店里买一部计算机回家，一面用一些到处找来的杂沓的零组件，一点一点地安装了替代的机器和软件；每一台这样组装而成的机器都在我的脑海里留下了各种不同的操作系统、编辑器和数据库程序。不过，这些组装的机器使得我能够截断连结大型计算机的脐带，即使代价是布满屋内的电子机具和闪闪发亮的灯号。

这段话这么翻译有令人不敢恭维之处吗？敬请猛力抨击。