Winters used to be cold in England. We, my parents especially, spent them watching the wrestling. The wrestling they watched on their black-and-white television sets on Saturday afternoons represented a brief intrusion of life and colour in their otherwise monochrome lives. Their work overalls were faded, the sofa cover—unchanged for years—was faded, their memories of the people they had been before coming to England were fading too. My parents, their whole generation, treadmilled away the best years of their lives toiling in factories for shoddy paypackets. A life of drudgery, of deformed spines, of chronic arthritis, of severed hands. They bit their lips and put up with the pain. They had no option but to. In their minds they tried to switch off—to ignore the slights of co-workers, not to bridle against the glib cackling of foremen, and, in the case of Indian women, not to fret when they were slapped about by their husbands. Put up with the pain, they told themselves, deal with the pain—the shooting pains up the arms, the corroded hip joints, the back seizures from leaning over sewing machines for too many years, the callused knuckles from handwashing clothes, the rheumy knees from scrubbing the kitchen floor with their husbands' used underpants.
When my parents sat down to watch the wrestling on Saturday afternoons, milky cardamon tea in hand, they wanted to be entertained, they wanted a laugh. But they also wanted the good guy, just for once, to triumph over the bad guy. They wanted the swaggering, braying bully to get his come-uppance. They prayed for the nice guy, lying there on the canvas, trapped in a double-finger interlock or clutching his kidneys in agony, not to submit. If only he could hold out just a bit longer, bear the pain, last the course. If only he did these things, chances were, wrestling being what it was, that he would triumph. It was only a qualified victory, however. You'd see the winner, exhausted, barely able to wave to the crowd. The triumph was mainly one of survival. | 英国的冬天寒冷。我们观看摔跤来打发时间,我父母尤其爱看。周六下午他们看黑白电视里的摔跤,这是他们劳累生活的小憩,为单调的日子带来些许色彩。他们的工作服变旧了。沙发套多年未换,也变旧啦。他们来到英国之前相处过的人们也淡出了记忆。我的父母以及那一代人,在工厂里辛苦了大半辈子,只为了那干瘪的工资袋。生活只是苦力、脊柱变形、慢性关节炎和残断的双手。他们咬紧牙关,忍住痛苦。他们没有选择,只能如此。他们努力转移注意力,不理会同事的轻蔑,不埋怨工头的喋喋不休。印度女人还要忍住被丈夫殴打的愤怒。他们告诉自己要承受住痛苦,化解痛苦---手臂的剧痛、髋关节炎的剧痛,疼痛还来自长年爬扶在缝纫机上得的背部痉挛,手洗衣服而长满老茧的指节,用丈夫的旧裤头擦洗厨房地板而充水的膝盖。
周六父母坐着看摔跤,手里拿着加奶的豆蔻茶,他们想找点开心,找点欢笑。但是他们也希望好人战胜坏人,哪怕是一次。他们希望张牙舞爪、到处大吼的恶棍得到应得的惩罚。当好人摔倒在摔跤场时,被双指锁扣困住时,握住疼痛的肾部时,他们祈祷好人不要屈服。只要好人坚持久一点,忍住疼痛,继续比赛。只要他做到这些,他还有赢的机会,摔跤就是这样。然而这只是一场勉强的胜利。获胜者筋疲力尽,只有向人群挥手的力气。获胜主要为了生存。 |